Norwich Bulletin: Intensity Drives DeStefano

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Norwich Bulletin: Intensity Drives DeStefano

The Norwich Bulletin August 07, 2006

By Ray Hackett

New Haven Mayor John DeStefano is a serious guy.

"He's not a schmoozer and, when you're in politics, that's kind of an important thing," said Leon Medvedow, a longtime friend and mentor to DeStefano. "He doesn't have a really great sense of humor. He's just a very serious guy. Extremely smart and a really good mind."

His wife, Kathy, agrees, noting although he can enjoy a silly movie, he doesn't have much patience for senseless silliness.

"He doesn't get a lot of jokes because, with John, everything has to have a point," she said.

In fact, DeStefano tends to hold "family meetings" when things start to bother him, she said.

"And holds them just like they were meetings," Kathy said with a laugh. "For relaxation, he used to enjoy mowing the lawn. But with two sons, he doesn't do that anymore. But we still hold family meetings to decide whose turn it is to mow the lawn."

John and Kathy met while attending the University of Connecticut, and will celebrate their 27th anniversary next week. Kathy is a kindergarten teacher.

DeStefano was born in New Haven, the son of a New Haven police officer. His two sisters are public school teachers, and his children attended public schools - a point he stresses during his campaign speeches.

DeStefano has served as the mayor of New Haven since 1993. He worked for the city for 10 year before his election. He served as deputy controller, chief administrative officer and development administrator.

"I've known him since 1981," Medvedow said. "When I first met him, I was chairman of the New Haven Board of Finance and he had been hired about a year earlier. It didn't take long to see how bright he was. The best thing that he's got going for him is his brains. He's an extremely smart individual."

He is also a very faithful man, attending church at 7:30 every morning before heading into his office at City Hall.

"He told me once that he does that just to get himself more focused for the day," Kathy said.

He's an avid reader, mostly biographies and books about governing - and a New York Mets fan, although he doesn't get to many games anymore.

Kathy said her husband's real strength is his patience and commitment to his family. And with a grueling workday as mayor, and even more grueling campaign schedule, he hasn't been around the house very much in the last year.

"And that was bothering me a lot," she said. "I missed him. So I told him he had to call me and touch base a couple of times a day, just to let me know he's thinking of us. He's been very good about that, especially with calling the kids."

DeStefano is driven by a strong desire to improve the quality of life for people, especially middle-income working families. Kathy said he has compassion for the underdog, and a determination to see opportunities are available to everyone. He can be tough and demanding, especially when he sees something that is wrong and should be corrected.

"He has a heart of gold," added Medvedow, "but you really got to get to know him to see that."

He also is determined, and is leaving no stone unturned in his bid to win the Democratic nomination for governor.

"I think the reason he's working so hard at this campaign is because he doesn't want to look back one day and regret not having worked hard enough to get it," Kathy said. "He told me it was a natural transition for him," she said. "He has this passion for making things better, especially for working people, because that's the kind of family he grew up in."